How to Navigate an Unexpected Retirement [Halftime Huddle w/ Scott & Tony]

What happens when retirement comes sooner than you planned? Whether it’s due to job loss, burnout, company changes, or caring for a loved one, an unexpected retirement can feel overwhelming. But it can also open the door to new opportunities and a more meaningful second half of life. In this bonus Halftime Huddle episode of The Wealth Mindset Show, Tony Hixon and Scott Miller break down the common challenges people face when retirement arrives earlier than expected!

For the show notes, transcript, and video version, visit thewealthmindsetshow.com/s2e19

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You are listening to The Wealth Mindset Show, where Hixon Zuercher Capital Management's team of finance professionals, portfolio managers, and a life coach come together to tackle complex topics in finance and retirement planning so you don't have to. From investment strategies and wealth management to tax planning, retirement income, and aligning your money with your values and purpose, The Wealth Mindset Show offers the tools to thrive.

Tony Hixon:

All right. Hey, hey, hey. Welcome to The Wealth Mindset Show where our Hixon Zuercher team will have conversations on managing wealth and navigating retirement and making smart decisions for a secure, meaningful future. I am not Austin Wilson.

Scott Miller:

You are not.

Tony Hixon:

I am Tony Hixon, CEO of Hixon Zuercher Capital Management and co-founder of the Refocus Coaching Academy alongside Scott and author of Retirement Stepping Stones.

Scott Miller:

And I am not Austin Wilson either. I am Scott Miller, certified professional retirement coach here at Hixon Zuercher Capital Management, and we actually have a bonus episode today called Halftime Huddles. This is where Tony and I get an opportunity to just really address some of the challenges that come in retirement. We're just looking at different topics within the realm of retirement. And Halftime Huddles, the concept of that it's really similar to a football game.

So if all of you are kind of wondering what this is all about, if you think about a football game, there is a first half and there's a second half, and in between those two halves is what's called halftime. And halftime is a period of time where the teams go into the locker room, they strategize about the past, they look at what has happened, and then based on that, they start making some adjustments. They strategize about how to win the game, how to play a well second half of the game and to win. And so that's what we're asking people to do here as they enter in retirement or as they're in retirement, is to simply take a halftime. Just stop for a moment, think about how they can maybe make some changes in their lives to live a better second half of life and to win the game.

Tony Hixon:

Perfect. Yeah. And so for a deeper backstory of why Halftime Huddles is such an important topic for us, in the show notes, we'll link the first episode of this little bonus content that we're bringing to you today, but ultimately, this is really about the non-financial side of retirement. Something that a lot of people, we just idealize what retirement can be and we Americanize it and the commercials are all pretty on beaches and golfing.

Scott Miller:

All the fun, pleasurable things to do.

Tony Hixon:

But ultimately that can be part of it, but it can also be very disrupting. And so we're here to expose the difficulties associated with retirement by turning stumbling blocks into stepping. We're so glad you're here. And so today's topic, Scott, we're going to talk about how to navigate an unexpected retirement.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

[3:06] - Unexpected Retirement: Being Let Go, Burnout, Job Elimination, Etc.

Tony Hixon:

So that's kind of interesting. A lot of times you put a lot of planning into your expected retirement, you can plan for years financially about what's next, you may even move or you may get settled closer to grandkids or whatever it might be, but these unexpected retirements could be really unsettling. So what are some examples of some unexpected retirements?

Scott Miller:

Yeah, I think some of the examples, and again, I think this is a much larger number than what a lot of people think that is. A lot of people think that this is a well-planned out, they have maybe a year or two to think about this. That's not always the case. And I think in some cases we have situations where either people have been let go or maybe their job has been eliminated, the company's making some changes, and so now their job is not needed anymore, or again, it's maybe just based on performance or whatever. They're just simply are let go. I think the other thing that I've seen in being a retirement life coach is just burnout too. A lot of people get to this stage of life and they just get burned out in what they're doing. And then all at once, they just retire because-

Tony Hixon:

Their performance drops and they may be let go.

Scott Miller:

Yeah. Their performance drops, they don't have that passion that they once go, maybe, again, they were let go. Or in a lot of cases, too, they just fall into a deep depression, they're dealing with some medical issues, and so then they're kind of forced into retirement and it's just unexpected. So I think we see some of that.

I think the other one, and again, this is an episode that we did here just a little bit ago, it might be caring for others. So we talked about the sandwich generation where a lot of times when you get into your fifties and sixties, you're taking care of people who are either older than you or you're taking care of people that are younger than you. So sometimes an unexpected retirement can be because of that. It can be-

Tony Hixon:

You're caring for an aging parent.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, exactly. You're caring for others around you. So those are some of the examples that kind of come to mind of why people have unexpected retirements.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah. Well, this is our 23rd year in business, so we have plenty of examples of where this has happened to our clients, and as if retirement isn't just disrupting enough, an unexpected retirement can be even worse. And yeah, it's just a very jarring timeframe in your life where you just start to question your value, if you're worth it. Why did this happen? You can really start to blame others and just be below the line quite a bit. But I think it's important just to remember that it's out your control, it's not a reflection of yourself, and if you can change your mindset, accept it as a gift, and that gets you on the path that you were meant to travel on.

Scott Miller:

Yeah. That feeling of being out of control, I think, is really common. You see a lot of people that, when in an unexpected retirement, they just get stuck in life, and it just seems like now what was structured, their identity maybe was tied into this career that they had done for such a long time. And now it's just chaos. "Oh, what am I going to do?" It just seems a little bit out of control. So I think that's a really good way to kind of describe it. It's like hitting a wall, almost, and people just get really stuck.

Tony Hixon:

I love that word. You used chaos. And ultimately I heard a speaker once say that chaos is the raw material for purpose.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, yeah. Really excellent.

Tony Hixon:

If you can get the right mindset going, it's realizing that this is such a great opportunity for you to really blaze a trail forward.

Scott Miller:

Yes.

Tony Hixon:

So sometimes, as we've had this happen to clients, maybe they weren't even quite financially ready and they need a couple more years of financial footing to get their retirement back on track, and so they're seeking other employment. And then, more to the point that we are discussing today, is they are financially ready, but they weren't mentally ready.

Scott Miller:

Right.

[7:26] - The Challenges of An Unexpected Retirement

Tony Hixon:

They just weren't ready to all of a sudden be "bored" or don't know how to spend their time. So what are some of those challenges of an unplanned retirement?

Scott Miller:

Well, I think, first of all, people underestimate how much of a transition... We've used that word a lot, actually, transition, and I think life is full of transitions, but retirement is a major life disruptor. It is an event that comes into our lives and it disrupts the normal flow of life. And people underestimate it. People are looking forward to it. A lot of times with retirement, our culture spins it in a very positive way. And again, don't get me wrong, I think it can be just one of the most exciting, fulfilling times of our lives, the second half of life, but people just simply aren't ready for how much of a disruption it is.

They don't make the transition well. And so then, all at once, boom, they're in retirement, they're up against this wall, they feel stuck, and they're tied into the past so much, like, "Oh my goodness, from a financial standpoint, what am I going to do?" But even if they're financially well off, it's still this idea of, "What am I going to do with my time?"

Tony Hixon:

They're lost.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, they're just lost. And the structure is different. My relationships have changed.

Tony Hixon:

Paycheck is gone.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, the paycheck is gone, and so that freedom sometimes that we have of spending money and going out to restaurants and doing some of the pleasureful things of life, now you're kind of questioning those. And so it is a challenge. And again, in all of those different ways, a lot of times people just can't see the future. They can't look forward to what's coming and what's next. And so they're just in this kind of lull, almost, where they're just up against a wall,

Tony Hixon:

No doubt. And what I've found is when this has occurred in one of our clients' lives, what they really don't need me to say is all the hopeful things.

Scott Miller:

Right.

Tony Hixon:

What they need me to say is, "I'm sorry."

Scott Miller:

Just come alongside and just be empathetic and compassionate.

Tony Hixon:

"This isn't great. I'm so sorry this happened. How can we walk alongside you through this," and just show empathy and care?

Scott Miller:

Yes, it's a good start.

Tony Hixon:

And just allow that loss that they feel to just sit with them in that and empathize alongside them. And then, over time, you continue to have that relationship and check in on them. And as time goes on, the wound starts to heal a little bit and they start to understand that, "I need to take action. I need to get going, got to get moving forward," and then that's the time to start really talking to them about what can be next for them.

-:

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[11:11] - The Positives of An Unexpected Retirement

Tony Hixon:

So when we get to that stage, there are pros to an unplanned retirement. So what are some of the things that you've walked clients through when they finally get to the stage where they're ready to discuss what's next?

Scott Miller:

Yeah. Well, one of the things is we try to look at some of the realities of retirement, and we look at these stages of life. We want to just help them to build some momentum and build some excitement for the future. Because, really, when they hit the wall, they can either spiral upward or they can spiral downward.

Tony Hixon:

That's true.

Scott Miller:

And a lot of people turn to a lot of different types of addictions and behaviors that are not going to lead to a good life.

Tony Hixon:

And those addictions might be as simple as screen time.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, right. Yeah, exactly. Or really kind of going backwards and trying to regain the glory days of going back to their adolescent days or buying a new car or buying something, this or that, that they think is going to actually lead them to happiness. So first of all, always just kind of helping them to realize the reality of retirement and then where they're at right now and just trying to assess their current, what we call a lot of times, their current location and where they're at presently, and then just really to try to build that excitement. We want them to spiral upward. We want them to just really build this, "Hey, there's so many opportunities out there in front of field. And again, I'm just talking in gentle terms right now, but just really helping them to see that there can be a better life ahead of them.

Tony Hixon:

And the only way they can really have that better life is if they choose to let go of the past.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, that's a big part of it.

Tony Hixon:

It happened. It's outside their control. They can't do anything about it. To continue to be a victim and to wish things were different, that's not helpful. And so really encourage, if that's happened to them, to let go of the past. And then ultimately, the title of our show, Halftime Huddles, it's to take a halftime.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, it is.

Tony Hixon:

Take a halftime. So what are some of the things that they can do during that halftime?

[13:23] - Advice & Tips for New Retirees

Scott Miller:

So one of the things that we started, and I mentioned this maybe in an earlier show, we have four different pillars in our workshop, and the one that we start with first, which I think is the most important, is starting with the "who" before the "do", we call it discovering your unique uniqueness. And it's really answering the question of, "Who am I?"

So often their identity is tied into the past and everything is related to that past part. We've talked about this a number of times already. Letting go of that past is really discovering who they are today. "What are my values? What's most important to me? What are my skills?" A lot of people just don't realize they've developed these talents and abilities and skills over these 20, 30, 40 years of their career. And now it's like, how can we capitalize on those? How can we realize what those are? And a lot of times, that's what leads them to that next thing. So that's the first pillar.

So important that they do that because many people just want to get to pillar number two, which is all about the doing part. "Where am I going in life?" We call that reorient and repurpose. And it's really thinking about, "Okay, this is what I did in the past. Now I'm just going to reorient. I'm going to refocus in a new and different direction." That's what refocus means. And so we've just really helped them look through a number of different things. It could be developing a hobby or developing a skill. It's a lot about volunteer work, helping others, mentoring, teaching, so many different things that we do in pillar number two. So that's what pillar number two is all about.

Pillar number three, I say this a number of times in the workshop, could be, maybe, the most important, and that is all about relationships. Because so many relationships change when they're making that transition.

Tony Hixon:

Sure. Workmates.

Scott Miller:

All those people they knew. Yeah. Right, yeah. Those workmates need to be replaced with new playmates, and so developing new social connections, looking at, presently, what social connections do they have? How can they improve the quality of those relationships? And maybe even the quantity of some of those relationships too as they move into the second half of life. So pillar three is all about that.

Pillar four is all about leaving a legacy, looking at, "Here's where I'm at today. I don't know how long I'm going to live on this earth," none of us know that, but it's really saying about, "What can I do today to leave a legacy rather than waiting until the end of my life and maybe looking back and having regrets and not being able to have control over some of those things. What can I do today? Whether it's my time, whether it's finance, financial, planning, getting rid of things, whatever, decluttering, downsizing." We look at a lot of different topics within pillar number four. So those are some of the things that we really try to help people with and the topics. And then, like I mentioned previously, there's a plan at the end.

Tony Hixon:

That last one, Scott, you remind me, that leave a legacy part, from the financial side, leaving a legacy is often expressed in estate planning documents.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

"I want my wealth to go here, here, here, and this stuff to go to this particular heir along the way." But in your context, in the non-financial realm, it's being intentional with connecting to the next generation. It's paying it forward, as an example. It's being intentional with having the life lessons that you have, sharing them with those following behind so that they don't repeat the same mistakes you have. So that leaving a legacy, why this matters, is just super crucial, super important for clients to latch onto.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, we have two goals in that pillar. One is to finish the race well. That's goal number one. And a lot of times people kind of get to the second half of their life and they just kind of coast and kind of drift to what's easy and what's comfortable, and that's not going to lead to a meaningful and purposeful life. But then the second part of it's just really what you mentioned, too, it's about helping others. It's about helping those that are coming behind us. So yeah, very much the case.

Tony Hixon:

Yeah. That reminds me, oftentimes in our career, we're pretty self-absorbed. I hate to say it.

Scott Miller:

That's true. That's true. Yes.

Tony Hixon:

We're saving for our own retirement, we're climbing the corporate ladder for our own social status.

Scott Miller:

"Now it's my time!"

Tony Hixon:

"Now it's my time." But as we age and as we get older and those financial things don't become near as important as those relational things.

Scott Miller:

That's very true.

Tony Hixon:

As those legacy things, leaving a legacy to our grandkids and our families, those memories and those times away just feel much more important. So Scott, I can't help but think if I had a client that walked in the door today, scheduled with me, and they're like, "Hey, this happened. I had an unexpected retirement. I was either let go or my department was eliminated, and I just need to meet." What are a couple of tips? What are a couple of strategies that I can tell my client to execute?

[18:27] - What Should Retirees Do Today?

Scott Miller:

Yeah. I think one is letting go of the past. Again, it's just being compassionate about where they're at, really hearing their story, being a good listener, and just sitting down and really kind of talking about that, but really helping them to realize that that doesn't need to define them. So it's kind of letting go of that, helping them to see, "Here's where you're at today. Let's deal with the present and let's look into the future."

Tony Hixon:

There you go.

Scott Miller:

So that's such an important thing. And then we've mentioned this already, just taking a halftime. "Let's just pause for a little bit. Let's not be driven by our feelings."

Tony Hixon:

Fear.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, fear. Right. Exactly. Yes. That's a big one. And so again, it's just, "Let's think about where we're at today. Take that halftime, just like the analogy of the football game, and then let's peer into the future." And I think thirdly, I would say, "Look at all the opportunities."

Tony Hixon:

They're endless.

Scott Miller:

They really are. There's so much out there for people to get involved in, to be more others-oriented, to really go from that self-focus, like what you just talked about, being less me-focused and being more others-oriented. That's really the key to purpose. And so really kind of helping them to think about all the different opportunities that are out there.

And then just to initiate that plan to create action steps. Again, just little things, little two-degree differences can make a huge difference 5 to 10 years down the road. And so helping them to take those action steps, keeping them accountable to that, I think would be just some really quick tips and advice that I would have for sure.

Tony Hixon:

And I think, ultimately, Scott, they can take a workshop.

Scott Miller:

Yeah. Right. Yes.

Tony Hixon:

Our firm has been blessed with my story that has led to this refocus coaching department based on what happened to my mom. If you didn't hear that story, listened to the prior episode, and we'll link that in the show notes. But Scott conducts workshops where he takes a client. So if a client walked through the door today and this happened, I would put them in one of your workshops where you work through this content, and at the end of it, they have a retirement summary plan and they're hopeful and optimistic about their future. They can't wait to make their future bigger than their past.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

But short of that, by the way, that workshop is available for non-clients too.

Scott Miller:

Non-clients too. Yeah.

Tony Hixon:

A lot of you're like, "I'm not a client of Hixon Zuercher." That's okay.

Scott Miller:

That's all right.

Tony Hixon:

We care about you. We care about this topic so much that we make it available for clients and non-clients. But short of that, talk to family, friends, peers, a pastor, a loved one, a counselor. We do know that a life disruptor can cause a lot of mental challenges, and if you're below the line about it and possibly going into anxiety or depression, we really want you to get help. So get help. We know that you have family, friends, and loved ones that care about you, and so please share this thing that happened to you and maybe they can help you rise back above the line.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, I want to just emphasize what you just said there that just really struck an note with me, is I think the tendency for a lot of people when they're in these situations is they have a tendency to isolate themselves.

Tony Hixon:

They're embarrassed.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, they're embarrassed, and they isolate themselves, they're not talking to anybody. And so you just mentioned about surrounding your people with people that can help you, and that's so important. I just can't emphasize that more with our listeners, how important it is that you have a good group of people around you, friendships, maybe people even who are older than you that are speaking into your life. That is so critical.

Tony Hixon:

For sure.

Scott Miller:

It really is.

Tony Hixon:

And we're happy to be a part of that conversation. If you'd like to engage in that conversation, if this episode resonates with you and you'd like to engage in a conversation, please let us know. In the meantime, we are so glad that you've joined us for this bonus episode of Halftime Huddle.

Scott Miller:

Yes.

Tony Hixon:

If you found value in our conversation, don't forget to subscribe to The Wealth Mindset Show on whatever platform you're on, so you never miss an episode. Visit us at thewealthmindsetshow.com for more resources, and if you're ready to schedule a workshop or a private coaching with Scott, head on over to hzcapital.com/coaching and you can connect with Scott there. We also invite you to follow us on social media to stay connected. Thank you for listening, and we'll see you next time.

Scott Miller:

Thank you, everyone.

Thank you for joining us at The Wealth Mindset Show where we tackle the complexities of finance and life planning to help you align your wealth with your values. We hope today's conversation provided value and clarity as you navigate your financial journey. Your hosts work for Hixon Zuercher Capital Management and all opinions expressed by them or any podcast guest are solely their own and do not reflect the opinions of Hixon Zuercher Capital Management.

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