Why Mentoring The Next Generation Is So Important

What kind of legacy are you really leaving behind to the next generation? Is it just financial, or something deeper? In this episode, Austin Wilson and Josh Robb are joined by Scott Miller of Refocus Coaching to talk through the true power of mentoring and why legacy is more than the simple wealth transfer. They discuss what mentoring is (and what it isn’t), how wisdom is passed down across generations, and why intentional conversations matter more than ever in an age of information overload and AI. Tune in!

Watch the video version, read the transcript, and find show notes at thewealthmindsetshow.com/s2e31

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Chapters

• 1:53 What Mentoring Is (& What It Isn’t)
• 7:00 Mentoring Within & Beyond Just Family
• 16:00 Why Mentoring the Next Generation Is So Important
• 19:29 Practical Ways to Start Mentoring Today
• 22:38 Fluid Intelligence & Crystalized Intelligence

Transcript

You are listening to The Wealth Mindset Show, where Hixon Zuercher Capital Management's team of finance professionals, portfolio managers, and a life coach come together to tackle complex topics in finance and retirement planning so you don't have to. From investment strategies and wealth management to tax planning, retirement income, and aligning your money with your values and purpose, The Wealth Mindset Show offers the tools to thrive.

Austin Wilson:

All right. Hey, hey. Welcome back to The Wealth Mindset Show, where the Hixon Zuercher team helps you manage wealth, navigate retirement, make smart decisions for a secure, meaningful future. I'm Austin Wilson, Chief Investment Officer at Hixon Zuercher Capital Management.

Josh Robb:

I'm Josh Robb, Director of Wealth Management here at Hixon Zuercher Capital Management. And joining us today is Scott Miller, our life coach for the Refocus Coaching part of our firm. So we are going to talk about mentoring, why and what that is and then why that's important. And then really how this relates to is when you talk about your area of the non-financial aspect, one of the ideas is passing on a legacy, and that's more than money. And we're going to talk a little bit about that, but then also how do you handle the money when that's passed on, and mentoring can be a part of that.

Austin Wilson:

Yeah. So I guess this leads us to the discussion of we in our industry spend so much time, and this is why we brought Scott aboard, but money. Money is what financial advisors talk about, what we can plan for and honestly, it's the most straightforward part of our job because it's numbers, it's math. It's stuff most people can get their mind around but there's a lot of the discussion that involves not financial side of things, and that's where Scott comes in at Hixon Zuercher. So he helps guide clients and friends and people we know towards some fulfillment outside of the financial side of things, specifically in that second half of their life, right?

Josh Robb:

That's right.

Austin Wilson:

But this thinking applies throughout life.

Josh Robb:

It does.

[1:53] - What Mentoring Is (& What It Isn’t)

Austin Wilson:

And what we're talking about today is really talking to your kids and talking about not the money side of things, but leaving behind wisdom, instilling values, and being a mentor is one of the things we'll be talking about to your children. So Scott, talk a little bit about how that kind of weaves into what you do.

Scott Miller:

So we have four pillars that are kind of the foundational topics in our workshops in everything that we do. And pillar number four is called Leave a Legacy, and it's in that pillar where we really talk about mentoring. Now, I just wanted to share our definition of what we use when we talk about legacy. And so we define it this way, something meaningful that's handed down from someone in the past. That's pretty basic. Now, we took this, next to this definition from John Maxwell. He said, "It can be tangible." So that's the physical resources. That's what you've been talking about, Austin, the money, your stuff. How are you going to hand that on down?

Josh Robb:

This was your grandma's...

Scott Miller:

And by the way, our kids don't want any of that stuff. They don't want any of those things anyways. But then he also talked about the intangible. And he goes, "This is what you leave instilled within people." And that's what we talk about. We really encourage people not to just think about the tangible things, but the intangible. And we said that really, studies show that that's a lot actually more meaningful and purposeful when you can pass on to the next generation, something from within. These are values and work ethics and just all kinds of things that we're going to talk about.

Austin Wilson:

So I think one thing to get in our minds now is that this is something that takes intentionality. It's not something, I think a lot of people will just go through life and assuming, "Oh yeah, my kids are going to instill the values and the legacy that I want, just passively." But you're not going to get the outcome you want if you just put all your hopes and dreams that that's going to happen. You have to be very intentional about this. It's not going to just happen. But the question I have, Scott, is where do you start with all this?

Scott Miller:

Yeah, well maybe we'll talk a little bit about, a lot of times in our workshops we just talk about taking the first step, that small little step. So that's it. A lot of times people think it's got to be this huge plan, this big ordeal, or I've got to have this huge family mission statement, which that can be okay. But a lot of times it's just really small, little intentional things. So for instance, all of my kids and my grandkids are going to be at my house. So I've been thinking in the last couple of weeks, how can I be intentional about that? It's going to be short too.

Austin Wilson:

It's going to be...

Scott Miller:

It's going to go fast. It's going to go fast. And then you've got grandkids screaming and babies crying but I'm going to try to be intentional. Whether it's just a small little moment of time to just ask them about how things are going in their life and then just trying to instill some wisdom into their lives.

Josh Robb:

And taking advantage of those opportunities when they came up to being ready. So for instance, just the other day, Noah, my oldest comes home from school and he's like, "Hey dad, guess what?" I said, "What?" He goes, "At school, I was walking from one class to another, and on the ground there was a $100 bill."

Austin Wilson:

This is a true story.

Scott Miller:

Oh, wow.

Josh Robb:

I was like, "Well, yeah." And he goes, "Yeah." I said, "What'd you do?" And he goes, "I picked it up and took it to the office." And he said, "I turned it in and said, somebody lost this." And then he was, well, that was his day. And then he had wrestling, a bunch of his friends were making fun of him like, "You just gave up $100." And he is like, "It wasn't mine." And that's the difference, right? And where did he learn that from? He had to have seen it somewhere. And so that was an opportunity for me to reinforce that as well. I told him, "That was the right thing to do and I appreciate you being honest about that and reinforcing that." But that's picked up.

And there was never a conversation where I sat down and said, "If you find $100 on the ground, you turn it in." If there's a penny on the ground, you pick it up and you're like, "Oh, a penny." Where's that break point? Every penny you find on the ground, take it to the office and say, "Hey, I found a penny on the ground." No one cares. But there's a point where it's like, you know what? Somebody's going to miss this. It's not mine, and I should turn it in. And so you find those opportunities, you're intentional about it, and then you reinforce it when they do it right along the way.

Austin Wilson:

And I think that these, as your children age, and I have very young children, so this is obviously a very different situation than Scott's at as his children are grown, but this looks different at different stages of life.

Scott Miller:

That's exactly right.

Austin Wilson:

I think you have to be, things is, we don't necessarily view it as mentoring as there are children are 1, 3 and 8.

Josh Robb:

Almost three.

Austin Wilson:

And it's not mentoring. That is just, I'm trying to make sure you do the right thing.

Scott Miller:

Parenting. Yeah.

Austin Wilson:

Stop making messes. Please go to the bathroom on the toilet. Say please and thank you and give your grandma a hug when she says goodbye or whatever. That's what mentoring can kind of look like as they're young. But as they start to develop emotionally and mentally, that takes a turn where it's more about wisdom and less about, "Do this, do that." Right? There's a bit of a shift. And so I think that it's very specific at different age is what that looks like.

[7:00] - Mentoring Within & Beyond Just Family

Josh Robb:

And I always visualize mentoring, being outside of the parents. Now parents can mentor, but when I look at my life growing up, I had two great role models as my parents, but when you asked me to name a mentor, I would choose someone outside of that because I saw them as role models and good examples, but they were my parents parenting me. And then a mentor was someone who took effort and didn't have to be in my life and chose to be in my life. And I've always designated those too. Now parents can mentor and train and raise up and bring that legacy piece, but to me, a mentor is, in a sense, is like an outside influence coming in. That's how I've always seen it.

Austin Wilson:

And this was Josh jumping the gun on something we were going to talk about later.

Josh Robb:

Yes.

Austin Wilson:

As an FYI. So thank you for that. So I guess practically speaking, Scott, how did mentoring look like for you growing up? Who influenced you early and how did that look for you?

Scott Miller:

Well, I think I kind of thought about it in three different stages. So I think from zero to 18 it was my parents. Obviously they were the very influential. I think they say that really by the age of 12, most children have developed their worldview by that time, how they look at the world and how so there's so much that can be accomplished. It's like just what you talked about Austin. A lot of times it's just initially it's just discipline, but then it's training, coaching, all those things that come with parenting.

So I mean, my parents instilled hard work. They were both Amish, came from that kind of a culture. And so I learned just a really good work ethic with them. I think faith was a big part of it too. Obviously, they introduced me to who God is and taking me to church and all those kinds of things. And then education. Because they didn't get very many opportunities in education, they made education really, really important. Then I think after that, after I kind of left for 8 years to go to college and then onto dental school, it was coaches, professors that I had in my life that really had a lot of great educators and coaches that really came alongside of me and really helped me.

After that then, once I got out of dental school and moved here to Findlay, it was really older men that really kind of poured into my life, and that was so big. I was 25 years old starting a dental practice, and I had another dentist in my office, Matt Kedinger, who was such a big part of just mentoring me, showing me the ropes. I watched a lot of what he was doing in his family. He poured into my life. And other men too in my church and in around me, I just had some really, really good... That shared not only the things that they did well in life, but also they were willing to share their mistakes too with me and kind of gave me that wisdom that I needed at age 25.

Austin Wilson:

So does the desire and practical application of having a mentor stop when you're 60?

Scott Miller:

No. No. We still need that. Right?

Austin Wilson:

Exactly.

Scott Miller:

It's never really stopped unless maybe once you get to your 80s and 90s, really, you're kind of just cruising by that time and it's like...

Austin Wilson:

Who's older than wiser than you at that point, yeah.

Scott Miller:

But no, even at 62, which is where I'm at now, I'm still looking to older men. In fact, I'm just, this afternoon I'm going to meet with a guy who's 83 years old and we're going to have coffee together and I'm just going to ask him a lot of questions about why he's still working and I just want to know about his wife. And so yeah, I just think there's a lot of wisdom that you can get from just asking people about their lives.

Josh Robb:

What about you, Austin?

Austin Wilson:

Yeah, I mean, I would say it depends on what area of my life. Of course, yeah, early on, parents were great, but then I think in junior high and high school, I had some really great coaches from sports. Football coaches, track coaches who really instilled a lot of hard work ethic in me and just that you have to work hard for things to work out, and the work you put in is going to pay off, these sorts of things that really have carried me through a lot of things I've done.

College, I had some great professors and stuff like that as well, but I think it kind of circles back to during certain periods of your life where I would say now, my dad is, again, probably my mentor that I go to for wisdom, for things like that where there was probably a period where we weren't at that level of relationship. Now we're back there and I call him three times a week to ask about random things and life and wisdom. So I think that those things can take different seasons. And I think that when you're in your teens and 20s, your parents aren't necessarily the coolest sometimes.

Josh Robb:

No, they're not.

Austin Wilson:

They don't know anything.

Scott Miller:

What they're talking about.

Austin Wilson:

They don't know anything. They don't know what it was like to be a teenager or someone in their early 20s and they're stupid. But then they become very wise all of a sudden once some life happens. And so I think that that's something that I think we have a better mentor relationship now. I would also say that I had some really great life group leaders early on in life. After Jenna and I first got married that were really influential in our early marriage, and that's really helped as well. What about you, Josh?

Josh Robb:

Yeah, same. I mentioned it. That's kind of why I brought it up was parents, I think we all said. They're the fundamental driving your values that kind of your worldview from an early age, but they're your parents. So sometimes hearing that is repetitive and it has less value. So for me, there was a guy, Paul Miserly was his name, but he came into my life and I know you know him.

Scott Miller:

I know Paul well.

Josh Robb:

And for middle school, high school, he mentored me and had done that for a lot of different guys. And one of his big things was he pushed very hard. Whatever you're going to do, what is going to be your impact? What is going to be your ministry? No matter what career or talents or skills you have, what is that going to impact? And that stuck with me through high school and college when we'd hang out and he'd talk and he'd say, "All right, Josh, what are you going to do when you grow up?" And I'd tell him what I was thinking I was going to do. He said, "Okay, what are you going to do with that?" And that was always his follow-up. He didn't care what I chose, but what are you going to do with that? And that always stuck with me.

So that was one coaches throughout the time. And then when I first started, when I graduated college, I was in the nonprofit world and my first boss, the director that was over the middle school ministry really mentored me and kind of took me under his wing, which was huge from both learning that, but also him and his wife, and then they had a kid. So my wife and I, we had just gotten married. So we had somebody that was just a little bit ahead of us in those phases to learn from, which is always great. And I think that's the other key to a mentor is finding somebody just above where you are and kind of help propel you along as you move in that journey. That was good. And then moving back here, like life groups and just some church people are always huge in having somebody to look up to say, "Okay, here's some things I want to emulate in my life on what I see them doing." Which is always...

Austin Wilson:

I think you brought up something that's very important is if you can really latch on to someone who's just one step in life ahead of you, it's invaluable to me. So we've got kids that are 1 to 8, but I'm looking at people with 10 to 20-year-old kids and who've been married not 10 years like we are, but 20 years, so 10 years ahead of me. And those are the people that I'm finding the most value out of because people that are my parents' age or whatever, they're 25 years ahead of me and things have changed or whatever, or it's been a while since they've been in my shoes. But the people who are 10 years ahead of me...

Josh Robb:

They still remember.

Austin Wilson:

They remember everything. They learned a lot through it. They just got out of what I'm in. And so it's very, very fresh. So one of my best friends right now, his name is Matt, we get together all the time, and he's 10 years ahead of me. He's been married 20 years or whatever. So he's just guy I need to be asking questions that are applicable today, not the ones that are going to be applicable 10 years that I could ask my parents or whatever.

Josh Robb:

For us, it seems like our oldest is a sophomore, having some friends that have some kids in college. It's great to say, "Okay, what do we need to know? What are the things you dealt with?" All those things. It's so helpful to have those in that transition.

Austin Wilson:

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[16:00] - Why Mentoring the Next Generation Is So Important

Austin Wilson:

So let's shift gears to talk about just why mentoring the next generation is so important, because I really feel like it is. I feel like that's something we should all be doing in many different ways, but I think something that is just good to get our mind around is that there's just so much information everywhere. We live in the era of artificial intelligence. We live in the era of the internet. Inspiration's everywhere, but you know what's not?

Josh Robb:

It's wisdom.

Austin Wilson:

It's the application of the information that's not everywhere and I think that's where humans are very, very important and mentors are very, very important. So talk a little bit about that.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, I just want to share something with you. I actually just read this yesterday. AARP just came out with a new study, some new data on loneliness, and it's called Escalating the Challenge of Loneliness in People Over 45. And as we know, it's not just people over 45, we see this epidemic all over. And this is a quote, and of course the data would say that loneliness is escalating. It's an epidemic in our country. And so this is a person, this is a 60-year-old guy who's just, that he quoted about his interaction with AI, which you just mentioned, Austin. And he says this, he goes, "With AI, I could just stay home by the fire, interact with it, and think I'm getting my social interaction when I'm actually just talking to a trained robot. But it's more convenient that way. I've yet to have an argument with AI, so it's less frustrating than some people and even good friends." So I love the honesty about that, but it's true what's happening with technology.

Josh Robb:

It makes it easier to connect.

Scott Miller:

Yeah.

Josh Robb:

But not as fulfilling to connect.

Scott Miller:

If that's the problem, it's easier, it's more convenient. I can just stay home. I'm not going to have an argument with Alexa. It's just...

Austin Wilson:

Or social media for that...

Scott Miller:

Yeah, or anything like that. Exactly. But it's dangerous. It's like what you talked about, Austin. We need human interaction. We need human social connections, and that's where mentoring comes in. That's why it's so important. There's just certain things that we just cannot get from AI. It's just the reality of that. So that's kind of the bad news, what's happening with technology. But at the end of the day, I think in terms of the wisdom and instilling in that and living a better life and a good life, we just need those older people who have gone ahead of us.

Austin Wilson:

Or some of us can be those older people.

Josh Robb:

And that's the thing, you talked about our need for it. Well, we are also at a phase of life ahead of somebody else.

Austin Wilson:

Exactly.

Josh Robb:

And you get so caught up in, "Oh, here's what I need." Well, we also have a lot of value we can pass on and being willing and open to do that for someone because that's also what we are seeking as well.

Austin Wilson:

Exactly.

Josh Robb:

And so you can be mentored and mentor someone at the same time because they're looking for something different than what you're striving to achieve because they're in a different life space. Don't assume. They absorb these things naturally. And it goes back to my oldest was getting his driver's license. I was like, he's watched me drive for 16 years. It should be fine. No, not necessarily the case. I haven't imparted that wisdom to him yet on certain aspects. I just assumed he absorbed it by sitting in the same car as me driving. That's not how it works. And that's why mentoring is important is, just because we're in proximity to somebody, doesn't mean they're picking up on what we would love for them to understand and learn from us.

Austin Wilson:

Absolutely.

Scott Miller:

That's a really good point.

[19:29] - Practical Ways to Start Mentoring Today

Austin Wilson:

So let's shift gears for our last little segment here to talk about the practical ways, the ways that we can really start mentoring today. So we kind of just talked about a little bit, look at both ends of it. Look where you are and look to find someone to be a resource for you.

Josh Robb:

Right.

Austin Wilson:

But also look for someone to be mentoring to. So whether that's take the intern out for coffee, that's a great opportunity. You're ahead of them in life and in a career, be a resource to them, offer to be a resource to them, but also go find someone that you look up to who's been through it too. Someone with older kids, someone with a longer marriage, someone with more life experience. So kind of try and bookend both of that ends of things. But one thing that's nice is, Scott, you're a great resource because you have a lot of accreditation and research and studying on this, but you don't need to be looking for a title or a program to be a mentor. Anyone can be a mentor to anyone, right?

Josh Robb:

You said it earlier.

Scott Miller:

At any phase in life too.

Austin Wilson:

Any phase in life.

Josh Robb:

You said it earlier, you don't need a program, you don't need an agenda.

Austin Wilson:

Just have a conversation.

Josh Robb:

A curriculum or a schedule. You're going to go have coffee and you're going to glean information from someone who has experience beyond where you're at. That's all it takes is the willingness to say, "Hey, I got some time, and we can just sit down, no agenda. Let's just talk." Because from that, you're going to find, they're going to ask the questions they really want to know or if you're the one looking to be mentored, you have questions already.

Scott Miller:

Absolutely.

Josh Robb:

They don't need to show up with a book, "Hey, let's fill this out together." No, just meet with them. Give them time. That's what they need.

Austin Wilson:

And do things regularly, I think helps too. If you can become friends with someone, have a regularly set up coffee, lunch, beer, grab a beer after work, whatever you want to do, but just make it once a month. Go catch up for an hour. It doesn't need to be a week long thing. Doesn't need to be a whole day. That's catch up for an hour about life. And it is amazing the compounding wisdom that you're going to get or hopefully that you're able to instill on the other end of that to someone else. So yeah, it's small, consistent actions there.

Scott Miller:

Yeah, sometimes in mentoring too, I think I saw this probably mostly with my parents. Unfortunately, you're going to see some things that you don't want to become, you know what I mean? You'll see some habits and some things maybe in your mentors or just even in the people around you that you're like, "Okay, I really don't want to live a life like that." So we had a family when I was growing up that was extremely wealthy, but their family was a mess. They were alcoholics, they had tons of money, but they just, you know. And so I kind of saw that as something I didn't want to become or something I didn't want to do. So even in mentoring, sometimes you watching the people around you that are older than you, sometimes it's not only getting good advice and wisdom, but it's actually also saying, "Okay, this is something that you don't... to do."

Austin Wilson:

Right.

Scott Miller:

That's a good point.

Josh Robb:

And be honest to say, "Hey, look, here's, you know..." That next age group. "Here's the things I messed up. I wish I would've known this then let me help you stop from doing this thing."

Austin Wilson:

That's probably the best mentor you can have is someone who royally messed up.

Scott Miller:

Who's willing...

Austin Wilson:

Willing to tell you.

Scott Miller:

Willing to be honest.

Austin Wilson:

Or someone who said, "Yeah, you know, I've been married 20 years. Here's what I messed up in the first 10 so you don't have to do it too." Right?

Scott Miller:

Yeah, yeah.

[22:38] - Fluid Intelligence & Crystalized Intelligence

Austin Wilson:

Yeah, mentoring. Scott, any other final thoughts on just the whole concept of mentoring?

Scott Miller:

Yeah, one thing I just want to introduce, I just think this is absolutely fascinating, but this came from Arthur Brooks who's a writer, but he got it from some research back in the '60s and '70s. But there's this thing called fluid intelligence and crystallized intelligence, and it's really the thought that when you're in your 20s and 30s, it's the way your brain works. And so you have tons of energy. You can problem solve like crazy. You can do things with speed. You can see patterns. There's lots of great, and this is why we need 20s and 30 year olds in our companies, in our businesses, but what happens once you get into your 40s, your brain starts to change. You can't do that stuff so well. But what you can do is consulting, coaching, teaching. And so we kind of move. And so it's actually just built into our DNA to actually, as we get older, to actually become mentors, to actually be teachers, to be coaches.

And this is when I'm working with individuals that are in the second half of life, we talk about this all the time. When they're thinking about what they're going to do next or they're going to maybe get out of that career because they're frustrated, because they can't think they could when they were in their 20s and 30s, but what they can do now is they can teach, they can consult, they can mentor. And so I think that's just fascinating that that's the way God made that feed in our brains.

Austin Wilson:

Absolutely.

Scott Miller:

As we go along. So again, we're built for it. We're built for the symmetry.

Austin Wilson:

It's a good thing. Josh, any thoughts?

Josh Robb:

No, I think, don't think you're ever too busy to be a mentor or be mentored.

Austin Wilson:

Right.

Josh Robb:

It doesn't take a huge time commitment. Just being consistent and just being open and available both ways to be mentored to but then take your wisdom and pass it on as well.

Austin Wilson:

Yeah. I would say my final thought is just look at the people in the generation behind us specifically and say, "These are the people who are going to be running your company. These are the people who you're going to be working with for a long time. These are the people who are going to be in government leadership positions, in church leadership. They need wisdom. They need life experience that they don't have, right?"

Scott Miller:

Yep, that's right.

Austin Wilson:

So specifically encouraging myself to continue to pour into people rather than always be poured into. So yeah. Well, that's mentoring. If you enjoyed today's episode, if it was insightful for you, hit that subscribe button in your podcast player. Be sure to follow us on social media so that you get all of our content, and we'd love to stay in touch with you there. And always feel free to check out Hzcapital.com to learn more about what we do at Hixon Zuercher Capital Management. And until next episode, have a good one.

Josh Robb:

Talk to you later.

Thank you for joining us at The Wealth Mindset Show where we tackle the complexities of finance and life planning to help you align your wealth with your values. We hope today's conversation provided value and clarity as you navigate your financial journey.

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